Sep 03 2012

Jumping from Cliffs

Published by under Missions Stories

If someone where to ask you to run to the edge of a cliff and Jump, what might your reaction be?

Would you Bound to the end and fling yourself off into the oblivion? Would you crawl to the edge and peak carefully over the edge? Would you simply raise your hands and walk away in defeat?

It is easy to speak about this hypothetically and guess our reaction. Being a thrill seeker, myself,  in all reality I  jump off of cliffs into water all the time.  I would jump at the opportunity to fling myself out of a plane and experience sky diving. But this is all physical reality of which I speak. What I am really asking about is Spiritual reality. 

And when My pastor gave me a prophetic word that God would be calling me to leap off of cliffs My heart raced with anticipation and I couldn’t wait to jump… Until I saw the cliff.

When I realized that this cliff was really God calling me to walk by faith and live by faith. To trust him to provide and not wrestle him for the position, I became weary. To live by faith is to live in uncertainty to not only jump off of the cliff, but to be blindfolded and have no idea if water or rocks awaited me at the bottom. God was asking me to surrender, to give my life up to him. Not just my life But control of my life. I wavered Because for most of my life I have had to provide for myself to be my own emotional and spiritual strength in order to survive a very broken and hurtful past. And to give this position over to someone else… I might be hurt, I wouldn’t have the ability of control any more.

Did I trust God to have this role in my life?

I stood on the edge of that cliff and cried knowing full well I needed to jump, but anxiety and fear gripped my heart, squeezing tighter and tighter.

So one night, as I had come to the end of all of my strength I cried out to God.

I asked that If I trusted him to provide for me financially as I went off to Sweden,  that he could take the anxiety away. That I might have a peace of mind that surpasses all human understanding.

That night I went to sleep and slept more peacefully than I have in years and when I awoke I had not only a peace in my heart but a joy that radiated through me. That started from the very core of my being until I was dancing with excitement for the Journey God had  ordained before me.

I still must take that leap of faith off this cliff. I must board that plane to Sweden and begin my life as a missionary on nothing but what God has provided

and nothing but a promise that he will continue to provide.

But now that I have already surrendered to the Lord, Jumping will be the easiest part. Because I trust him.

I trust Him to do better for me than I ever could do for myself.

 

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Aug 27 2012

The Call

Published by under News Updates

“Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” 

~Psalms  119:105

In October of 2012 I received an email from a friend in India. She was currently on an outreach, working to complete her DTS in YWAM and she felt the Lord telling her I was suppose to come to the YWAM base in Sweden. So far in my life I had followed various dreams and all had ended abruptly with the Lord telling me, “Not yet.” and “I have something better for you.” But when My friend came to me humbly saying she had felt the Lord leading her to talk to me, I knew this was what the Lord had planned for me.

This was the better future he had in store, and although the road is not paved perfectly and it can be narrow at times. He guides and leads me always. I have already come up against many challenges, more than I thought I would. And I have questioned whether this is the path I am suppose to take. But I know that whatever happens in my future the Lord is using it to mold and shape me. “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28) And that is the Key: As long as I walk with him and answer my call, he will work it all out for his glory in the end.

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